Newbie (With a Doobie)

My experience with the devil's weed.


Session 9 was to precede a music performance by my band.  I’m not sure I’m ready to perform high, as it definitely affects my energy.  Or perhaps I just shouldn’t smoke before performing.    I did manage to snag several fish tacos for dinner, though.  Those damn tacos.  I also found myself analyzing what I was eating.  My awareness was heightened such that I could feel (with my teeth, tongue, etc) every ingredient in every bite, and how its taste and texture differentiated from the other ingredients.  I guess that’s one reason I gravitate toward tacos as my chief munchie.

To reiterate, having had a reasonable amount of experience with cannabis, I must say there’s no logical reason for it to be banned.  Or if it’s to be outlawed, then there’s no logical reason that alcohol shouldn’t be banned as well.  I actually feel LESS in control of myself when I consume alcohol.  And I don’t feel terrible the next day.  The most harmful aspect of it is the smoke, and unless you’re Snoop Dogg Snoop Lion, I don’t think anyone would be chain smoking marijuana, because it’s effects last a significantly long time, and for me, constant consumption would eventually just lead to falling asleep (or exploding from taco overload).  And not to mention, you don’t HAVE to inhale smoke to benefit from it.  There are vaporizers, which simply vaporize the THC without burning anything, and the THC can bind itself to cooking fats (butter, oils, etc) for baking.

I don’t think I would be comfortable driving under the influence of cannabis, but the same goes for alcohol as well.  They’re both drugs, and both should be used responsibly.

So why is this illegal, again?



Nothing too particularly special about this session.  Same good vibes, and I recorded some music while under the influence, which was the first time I had done so high.  While visiting puff the magic dragon, I decided it was time to name my glass pipe, which elicited a hearty chuckle from my wife.

“I’ve named this pipe Yoda.  He’s green and small, and judge him not by his size, because he can easily get you lifted.”  I found it pretty brilliant, at the time.

As my supply was dwindling, I found it difficult to smoke normally out of the pipe, as the smaller bits seemed to fall into the hole.  At a friend’s suggestion, I purchased screens to keep everything in the bowl, and not inside the pipe.  However, it appears they have trouble fitting into the pipe.  That, or I failed to install it correctly.

Ate a WHOLE lot of food.  No tacos.  🙂


A couple of interesting things occurred this session.  Number one, I decided to try marijuana through another means.  So I constructed a water bong.  I did this using a 2 liter bottle, a 3/16 wrench socket, electrical tape, and the plastic shaft of a bic pen.

I boiled the tip of the bic pen, and stuffed it over the tapered portion of the wrench socket, then dipped it into cold water to let it harden again (for a nanosecond, I felt like a medieval blacksmith).  This component, away from the rest of the Voltron’d components, looks pretty sketchy, as pointed out by my cousin.

So I took this makeshift “bowl” and stuck it through a hole I poked near the bottom of the bong.  I angled it downward, and made it air tight with the electrical tape.

I then poked another hole near the top to serve as a “carb”.  I then filled the bottle up with water until the bottom portion of the pen was submerged with water.

I can’t say that I have a lot of experience, but I must say that smoking this way was WAY easier, and I felt the effects MUCH more strongly.  The smoke was cooler, and I was inhaling significantly more, and it was WAY less harsh.

I should note, that I believe I have discovered my “power munchie,” as it were.  Any time I smoke, and there are tacos around (which, oddly enough, has occurred on more than one occasion), I become a veritable black hole tacos.   An endless, merciless, taco-eating force of nature.  I honestly think I could compete in contests and win.

Number two, I tried smoking twice in a day.  Having done so, I must say it was too much for me.  The “overlap” in highs was overwhelming, and it gave me a case of the spins, and made me a little queasy to boot.

I have discovered that after smoking, I sleep SIGNIFICANTLY better than when I don’t.  And this is coming from a person who experiences a significant amount of insomnia, on top of being a very light sleeper in the first place.

So yeah.


I had yet to smoke by myself, in the middle of the day.  I wanted to see if it would make me paranoid, as I had been told that was a common side effect, although it was one I had yet to experience.  My cousin said that any time he ever smoked, he would more or less have panic attacks, and become overwhelmed with anxiety.  Strange.

So I smoked while my wife was at work.  Sidenote:  I don’t want this to sound like I’m a stay-at-home-and-do-nothing husband.  I work from home.  And it was one of my off days.

So I toked up, and waited for it to kick in.  I had worked pretty hard this week, and so I wasn’t planning on doing a whole lot in the first place, so I pretty much relaxed on the couch, and simply enjoyed the high.

Enjoy it, I did, but guess what.  I DID become a tad paranoid.  Part of me thinks that perhaps it was self-fulfilling prophecy, given that I was hoping to experience this feeling in the first place.  But every time I heard a car drive by, or pull in or out of our parking lot, etc, I instantly assumed it was a cop.

I wonder if this paranoia would exist if this stuff were legal.  I’d love to hear someone in Colorado or Washington chime in on that.

Anyway, shortly thereafter, I was invited to a local band’s concert.  It was a release party for the band’s new record, and they had set up catering with a taco station.  Previously, when I said the munchies was the strongest symptom for me, I was understating.  I went to this show, and ate 10 tacos.  These were sizeable tacos, as well.  I could have kept going, but after 10, my rationale kicked in a bit (or perhaps I was just coming down from the high).

Again, it wasn’t that the tacos tasted better than any other taco you’d have on any given day…My stomach just didn’t signal to my brain that I was full, or that it was time to stop eating.  And so on I went.  And I ate 10 tacos.

That’s ridiculous.

In all honesty, I’ve got to say…In the long run, I feel like the effects of marijuana are far more enjoyable and desirable than the effects of alcohol.  Maybe the novelty will wear off eventually, but it just feels like with cannabis, you have an equally enjoyable experience, your rationale and inhibitions are (for the most part) still intact, anxiety goes away (at least for me) in the same way that drinking a few beers will break the ice in a hectic social situation, and when I’m eating, it’s not to prevent a terrible hangover the next day….it’s just because I like eating.



Session 5 involved an early evening smoke.  After asking several more experienced consumers, it was suggested that I try smoking after a thorough grinding.  Up until this point, I had simply been taking a pinch off a nug, stuffing it in the bowl, and lighting up.

So I took that same amount, put it in the grinder, and ground it down pretty finely.  I think that in doing so, I was able to put more into the bowl.  It also made for a pretty uniform pack; any tiny bits fell through the hole, and I was able to retrieve it from the carb, and place on top of the bigger stuff, so it got finer and finer as you moved up the bowl.

This was the most intense experience I’ve had so far.  My head felt like a hot air balloon (in a good way).  My wife and I decided to take a walk at a local park, and on the way there, for the first time since having taken this adventure, I got a pretty ridiculous case of the giggles.  It was uncontrollable, and probably lasted for at least 5 minutes.

When we got home, my wife made brownies, and I literally ate half the pan.  The munchies is definitely the dominant side effect for me.  It’s not that food tastes better while high.  I just lose my sense of “you’re full, stop eating.”  So if something tastes good, and I’m not full yet, I keep eating.  I can certainly see the benefit medical marijuana would have with chemotherapy patients.


So yesterday, I decided to change my context a bit.  We had errands to run, and it was in the middle of the day.  I had never smoked during daylight hours, nor had I been outside of my own home under its influence.

I smoked a small amount, and took my time.  This made it significantly easier, with less coughing.  Marijuana increases my appetite something fierce, and I’m noticing that more and more.

Yesterday, as we were running errands (shopping, picking up vehicle, etc), I experienced pretty significant time dialation.  We were driving down a well-known commercial development near our home, and the strip is around a mile and a half long.  I remember, very vividly, feeling like it took us all of 90 minutes to drive down this road.

The thing is, it’s not necessarily an impatient feeling, or a negative feeling.  Your senses (or at least my senses) are heightened, so you perceive everything more vividly.  It’s almost as if you don’t want what your sensing to end.


After feeling significantly less of an effect after smoking a significantly lesser amount, I decide to test against the opposite:  Smoking a whole lot (or at least more than I have so far) to see if the effect is heavier.

I can never tell when a bowl is completely finished.  And smoking in the small glass pipe I have means the smoke is really hot.  If I take slower drags, the smoke cools a bit, and I cough way less.  I guess that’s to be expected.

The effects, this time around, were extremely light, which was shocking, considering that the inverse was true of my intake.  I had a very minor ‘heady’ feeling, although my appetite was increased.  I found myself digging into a bag of corn chips, and the next thing I know, I’m poking for crumbs.  Perhaps due to the full stomach as well, I dozed on the couch and felt the effects much more as I slipped further into sleep.  This may be one of the most pleasant feelings for me, on marijuana.  Falling asleep brings with it a very fuzzy euphoric feeling.  Kind of like how you feel on pain killers, but without all the heavy, bear-out-of-hibernation feeling.

I still haven’t really experienced that quintessential “blow your mind” high that so many people talking about.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong.  My wife thinks that the stuff I bought isn’t quality (she was a champion smoker in college), despite what so many others have said about it.  I guess I have no real basis for comparison yet!


So after describing my first experience to a friend, he suggested that I was smoking a little too much, and could get the same effect with a smaller amount (for the sake of my dinky little bag’s longevity, I suppose).  So this time, I was curious as to whether or not a smaller amount of marijuana would get me equally buzzed, so I packed the bowl of my glass pipe about 50% less than on my maiden voyage.

I took note of my prior misdoings while smoking on my first goaround, and made it a post to demonstrate better form on my second run.  I kept the carb (i.e. side hole) covered while drawing more slowly on the pipe, and could actually feel the smoke entering my lungs gradually.  I then let my finger off the carb and cleared the pipe of the smoke.  Doing it this way, I believe, cooled the smoke, and made it far less harsh.  Not only was I able to hold it in my lungs longer, but there was hardly any cough whatsoever.

The bowl was finished, as one could imagine, sooner than the previous.  As I had anticipated, the effects were not as dramatic as the first time, and I attribute this to my having consumed less THC in this session. 

Onset was, I would say, approximately 10 minutes, and the feeling stayed mainly in my head, this time around.  For me, the experience feels very much like a beer buzz, minus the facial and oral numbness that I get with booze, which I don’t consider a bad thing, necessarily.  Once again, I did not feel that my motor functions, coordination, or dexterity were impaired in any fashion.

I did get a very subtle wave of euphoria when going from a light room to a dark room, and vise versa. 

Two stereotypical pot experiences happened, this evening:  I did find that my food tasted better than usual.  My wife made vegetarian burritos, and while I like it when she cooks these, I generally don’t finish mine, as low sodium, unfortunately, equals low(er-than-usual) taste senesation for me.  I killed this burrito, and I was adding hot sauce to every bite, which, comedically enough, tasted surprisingly complex for bottom-shelf, cheap hot sauce.

The second thing that happened (and again, this could have just been me being absent minded by nature) was this:  I grabbed a DVD from my book ‘o DVDs to watch with dinner, and turned on my DVD player.  I spaced out for a split second, and when the DVD that was previously in the DVD player began to play, I instantly assumed it was the DVD I forgot I was still holding.  Needless to say, I chuckled at this.

I relaxed on my couch for most of the evening, and I can say, with confidence that the feeling, for whatever reason, lasted quite a long time, although it was more subtle.  I felt like I could still ‘feel it’ at least two afters after I did it.  Maybe this is a placebo effect, or maybe my body still has a pretty high dose response to THC.  Time will tell.


First time smoking weed:  GO!

I bought 1/16th because I didn’t want to purchase a large amount if I ended up not liking it.  I’m told that this particular type of cannabis comes from Canada, and is very good.  It was $25 for 1/16oz, and I paid my friend a ‘broker fee’ as a gratuity for picking it up for me.  As I’m not keen on rolling joints or cigarettes, I opted to purchase a small glass pipe.  Pothead or not, it’s difficult not to appreciate the artistry and craftsmanship that goes into a fancy, blown-glass (or is the proper adjective “glass-blown”?) pipe.  And they vary so much in shape and color.

I also bought a small grinder, which in retrospect, I feel may be more appropriate for rolling joints, because it seems easy for the ground up bud to fall into the hole of the pipe.  We’ll see.

So I took a portion of the herb, and packed it into the bowl of my new piece of illegal paraphernalia, and grabbed a bic lighter that was previously used exclusively for candles, both scented and birthday.

Sidenote:  This pipe has a hole in the side of it, which is known as a “carb”.  As I understand it (or perhaps IF I understand it), you are supposed to keep a finger over this hole as your are inhaling, and then release your finger from the hole to clear the pipe of any remaining smoke.  Ok.

So I held the pipe to my mouth, and lit it.  Having never actually smoked a cigarette before, inhaling smoke was uncharted water for me, and as expected, my inexperience got the best of me.  After several attempts, though, I managed to take a reasonably large hit off the stuff.

And I choked.  Hard.  I felt like a child trapped under the bed during a house fire.  Fire in my lungs, fire in my throat, coughing violently, which then triggered uncontrollable drooling.  I’m grateful that my first time occurred behind closed doors in the privacy of my home, rather than in a gathering of more experienced smokers.  They would have certainly laughed.  This coughing must have lasted a good 5 minutes.  I consider this a crash course in learning how to inhale, and how to handle the smoke.  I’m not a pro, yet.

So at this point, I know I’m supposed to feel something different, so I’m sitting there waiting for it.  5 minutes pass, and I’m still not really feeling anything, and I begin to wonder if perhaps my friend sold me a bag of some random herb or spice bought off the racks of a local farmers market or grocery store.


5 more minutes pass and I begin to feel something.  Now, I’ve NEVER gotten a satisfying response from ANYONE, when I ask them to explain to me what “being high” feels like, in tangible, physiological terms.  So I always told myself I’d make it a point to be VERY mindful of the experience, so as to better enable me to describe it to someone else.  Try to follow me, here.

Y’know how sometimes when you take a pee, you kind of get that chill that goes up your spine, neck, and scalp?  I slowly began to feel that, especially in my scalp.  Obviously, the first thing I did was check that I was not, in fact, urinating.  We were good.  But I digress.

The sensation got stronger in my head (and when I say “in my head,” I don’t mean inside my brain.  I literally mean under my scalp, in this case), and the best way I could describe it would be if there was a tiny (perhaps a millimeter thick) cushion of air between my scalp and my skull.  It wasn’t unpleasant, nor did it freak me out, but I could plausibly see it freaking someone out, were they in a different, more unfamiliar context, trying this unfamiliar substance.

After that, I began to get very similar bodily feelings of a beer buzz.  If I closed my eyes, things got only a little “spinny,” but the gross sick feeling that often accompanies it with alcohol wasn’t there.  I didn’t feel like my motor functions were inhibited, though, as they may be with a beer buzz.  I feel I could still, for example, juggle, or work a rubik’s cube, or reach for potato chips without knocking over someone’s beer.  My speech was not slurred when I spoke, and I could still say the alphabet.

Visually, the effects I experience were minimal.  Early on, it did seem as if my field of vision would VERY subtly “breathe” with each heartbeat, but I found this eventually subsided.  Colors didn’t seem drastically more vibrant, as some stereotypes may suggest, but I did find contrasting sources of light seems to have a higher contrast.  For example, I pulled my smartphone out of my pocket, and noticed that the screen seemed significantly brighter, while black text on white backgrounds seemed to “pop” a little more.  This was pleasant enough for me to enjoy.

Auditory input didn’t seem DRASTICALLY affected by it.  I did get a very slight buzz in the ears, which I seemed to no longer notice after a while, and at one point, I remember noticing, quite easily, the note or tone that my bathroom overhead fan was whirring at.

I did find myself very relaxed the entire time.  Again, very similar to how a beer buzz might feel.  The ‘edge’ was simply taken off a bit.  I was more comfortable on my couch.

The only real negative effect I felt, while high, was pretty significant cotton mouth.  Nothing a glass of water (or juice, or soda, or tea, or whatever) didn’t alleviate.

I didn’t experience “the munchies,” and it didn’t seem as though food tasted drastically better, as some report, although I did enjoy a bit of food while under the influence.  Which brings me to my next point of discussion:  Time perception.

This was arguably the most amusing, and fascinating experience weed gave me on my first try.  I had some leftover hibachi chicken in my fridge, and it was dinner time anyway, so I heated it up.  I placed it in the microwave, and set the time for one minute.  I came back into the living room, and had a conversation with my wife that seemed to last around 2 and a half minutes, give or take.  After finishing this conversation, I stepped back into the kitchen, to find that only 30 seconds had passed in the cooking of my food.  I laughed heartily at this.

Time did seem to pass slower, but I was enjoying the experience, so I didn’t get a sense of impatience from this “time dilation”.  I simply went with it.  Enjoyed it.  It’s not really a feeling I wanted to immediately end, as it is.

When I drink, I often turn pale, and my cheeks and nose go rosy.  With cannabis, my eyes simply got a little red, and heavier, similar to how I look when I’m sleepy.  Now granted, my trying marijuana occurred late at night, so it’s very possible that I simply WAS tired.  I’ll have to try it again when I have more energy from the get go.

After about an hour and a half, I felt the heavier effects beginning to subside, and so I got ready for bed.  Having gone to bed, I felt very comfortable, and fell asleep easily, which is something that is fairly uncommon for me.  I listened to a podcast while falling asleep, and I recall, once again, the intro of the podcast (which is approx 1 minute) feeling like it lasted about 10 minutes.

I was also pleased that there was no hangover whatsoever, the next day.  My throat was not sore, nor was my chest.

First impressions:  I’d give it a 7 or 7.5 out of 10.  I’ve been told by many that the first time you smoke, you don’t feel it as much, so I’m interested to see if my second attempt renders any different of an experience.  I will post updates as they occur!